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 ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~

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azureXtwilight
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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 17, 2011 5:30 am

thanks, shine XD You summed up what I thought.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 17, 2011 6:21 am

azureXtwilight wrote:
thanks, shine XD You summed up what I thought.

Heh, I know you Smile I can read your mind~ Kidding! Smile

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:10 am


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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Tue Oct 18, 2011 9:00 pm

~ next Chapter ~ <333

flora wake up the next morning becuz the alarm bell ring with sound. She closed it and look at the date it was august already and it was 7 am she must go to leons room. so She walk out with blossoming excited steps and knock on beon's door smiling happily.

"prince Leon wake up we are going to date together today" flora smells happily when she knows on the door. Suddenly she heard a Crash sound! she rushed in to see leon on the floor... melodia is sleep drugging him and is going to do things to him! flora wants to stop her so she immediately use her inner magic!!

"Nell spell Requim of the Abyss!!!" she shout and the magic blow Meloen away. she was shockd at her magic and how she can do it... she ran to leon and leon told her she must be an immortal thats y she can do magic like that...

to be continued...

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:14 am

AMG ME LURVS DIS FIC SO MUCH!!!!1!! MOAR, DES-CHAMA, MOAR

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:23 am

Hello, Belle-Destinee. First of all, I want to welcome you to Fantasia Games Forums. It pleases me to see you're so enthusiastic and get along so nicely with the community.

However, what incited me to write this commentary is your fan fiction. Its sheer genius rendered me speechless.

The vividness of your descriptions brings the whole story to life, and I am really impressed by the unique approach to gerunds, such as "with menacing". It is really innovative.

As for the story itself, the way you build up the tension is masterly. I can barely withhold my excitement and anticipation of the denouncement. The subtle way in which you use foreboding makes up for a very entertaining read.

Last but not least, I'm pleasantly surprised to see a young writer such as yourself employ impeccable punctuation and spelling.

I hope to see more in the nearest future.
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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:50 am

Ana wrote:
Hello, Belle-Destinee. First of all, I want to welcome you to Fantasia Games Forums. It pleases me to see you're so enthusiastic and get along so nicely with the community.

However, what incited me to write this commentary is your fan fiction. Its sheer genius rendered me speechless.

The vividness of your descriptions brings the whole story to life, and I am really impressed by the unique approach to gerunds, such as "with menacing". It is really innovative.

As for the story itself, the way you build up the tension is masterly. I can barely withhold my excitement and anticipation of the denouncement. The subtle way in which you use foreboding makes up for a very entertaining read.

Last but not least, I'm pleasantly surprised to see a young writer such as yourself employ impeccable punctuation and spelling.

I hope to see more in the nearest future.

Ana, I didn't knew you were SO great and awesome.

That's all I had to say along with : Why do I have the feeling that we are all amazed by Belle-Destinee?

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:52 pm

shine wrote:
Ana, I didn't knew you were SO great and awesome.

That's all I had to say along with : Why do I have the feeling that we are all amazed by Belle-Destinee?

*curtsies* Thank you, Shine dear. My purpose is to amuse.

And yes, yes we are. Very much so. How can we not be?
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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:08 pm

~ chapter 22 ~ flora is who???? ~~~~*

leon pull flora out and they go talk abt impt stuff.

"i think u must be immrotal..." he whisper in extreme softness. flora Looks back with bloooming pink eyes and is surprised

"y? she asked" why do you think i Must be immortal?? she is scared becuz she dont know what is immortal... she want to be normal with lal her frenz.

"becuz u use the nell requim of abyss spell" he say serious looking... his eyes look at her pink eyes and sparkle with blueness. pink meets blue. everything dark and opposite.

"but how can i b immortal" she say shock "i am muggle born and raised in an orphanage becuz my parents were killed at young age" she said with sad everywhere.


"i am surpise too" leon say thoughting. finally he say "we must talk to my best friendn odwald. he knows aboutimmortals becuz he is also immortal"

"ok" say flora "and they set off"

to be continued....................

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:45 pm

Dear Lady Bella,

Please do update. I would like to continue my literary analysis with your next chapter.

Sincerely,

Critic ~Sir Kirroha


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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:57 pm

~Sir Kirroha wrote:
Dear Lady Bella,

Please do update. I would like to continue my literary analysis with your next chapter.

Sincerely,

Critic ~Sir Kirroha


Dear Lady Destinee.

Please do update. I would like to continue my fanfict as soon as possible.

With regards,

Fanfict writer, Lady Shine.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:13 am

I wonder if she's dead? Sad

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:14 pm

I wonder if she laughs so hard when she writes this.... *holds laughter but failed miserably*

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 7:21 am

You shouldn't (EVER SERIOUSLY) minimize words. Ever. Ever ever ever ever ever.
Have I said ever? I think I did. Not to sound harsh though, I'm just a really hard person to please. (Don't think wrong.)
And using
'muggle' as a vocab word is not right. This isn't a Harry Potter fanfiction, this is a Realm of Thanos fanfiction.
And yes, I get it. Flora has pink eyes, Leon has blue. No need to repeat what I already know. Only repeat when you want to remind the reader of something highly important. Like, I don't know..a flashback.
Also, please use the tense that you are using. Don't use
"Used" and then use "Use" in the same story.
Stick with one, not that hard. Personally, I think past tense is better, because it's SOO much easier and not confusing at all.
Yes, I'll get a lot of hate for this review..but it's for the improvement of your progress. Take my advice or leave it, totally up to you.
Nice job on the plotline.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:13 pm

darkdoll25 wrote:
You shouldn't (EVER SERIOUSLY) minimize words. Ever. Ever ever ever ever ever.
Have I said ever? I think I did. Not to sound harsh though, I'm just a really hard person to please. (Don't think wrong.)
And using
'muggle' as a vocab word is not right. This isn't a Harry Potter fanfiction, this is a Realm of Thanos fanfiction.
And yes, I get it. Flora has pink eyes, Leon has blue. No need to repeat what I already know. Only repeat when you want to remind the reader of something highly important. Like, I don't know..a flashback.
Also, please use the tense that you are using. Don't use
"Used" and then use "Use" in the same story.
Stick with one, not that hard. Personally, I think past tense is better, because it's SOO much easier and not confusing at all.
Yes, I'll get a lot of hate for this review..but it's for the improvement of your progress. Take my advice or leave it, totally up to you.
Nice job on the plotline.

Darkdoll, you shouldn't have spent the time and effort into making this review... XDDD It's pretty obvious that none of us find this story particularly serious.

Anyway, don't scare Belle-Destinee away. I want her to update this because I love badfic. Every chapter is making me laugh with happy everywhere.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 6:53 pm

~Sir Kirroha wrote:
Every chapter is making me laugh with happy everywhere.

WITH HAPPY EVERYWHERE! So much yeah. Agrees with Kirro there.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:26 pm

thank u sir kiroha and shine sama... i happy u like my story... ^.^

dark doll, muggle is a real word... >.>"""" see here::: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muggle
and descibing is vry impt in a story... u should noe that if u write...
if u can write describ than show me

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:28 pm

see here dark doll

"Muggle" was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2003, where it is said to refer to a person who is lacking a skill.[3]

muggle is a real word

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:30 pm

Lacking a skill? Where you really using this word with this meaning into your story?

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:43 pm

Not to mention "muggle-born"...

... But don't worry, we still love you and your stories! Please update, Des-chama~ Very Happy

(Darkdoll, just play along! Wink )

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:02 pm

I thought this was abandoned and trust me, there was sad everywhere.
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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:05 pm

Ana wrote:
I thought this was abandoned and trust me, there was sad everywhere.

If she leaves, I will certainly post with menacing.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:06 pm

Then I'll set the alarm to ring with sound to make sure I'll see you with menacing.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:08 pm

Dudes. We're Muggle-born. We have no rights. She'll explode us.

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PostSubject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~   Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:10 pm

'No, Belle-Destinee. All you have to do is just to stay here forever and ever,' breathed Sir Kirroha.

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